Your vow-writing checklist
Work through this before the big day — one section at a time. Print it, save it, or tick boxes as you go.
Before you write
- Check with your officiant: any rules on length, humor, or religious language?
- Decide your target length (about 60 sec, 90 sec, or 2+ min spoken).
- Agree with your partner: will you share vows beforehand or keep them a surprise?
- Pick 2–3 stories or moments you definitely want mentioned.
What to include
- One specific memory — a scene, not a summary of your whole relationship.
- What you love about them that other people might not notice.
- Real promises — things you'll do, not just how you feel.
- How you refer to them (name, nickname, “my husband/wife/partner”).
- Optional: one inside detail only the two of you would get.
What to skip
- Generic lines you’ve heard at other weddings (“for better or worse” unless you mean it).
- Inside jokes guests won’t understand.
- Promises you can’t keep (“I’ll never make you cry”).
- Listing every quality — depth beats breadth.
After your first draft
- Read it out loud — does it sound like you, not a greeting card?
- Time it at a slow, emotional pace (not rushed).
- Cut anything that makes you cringe when you say it aloud.
- Practice at least twice before the wedding week.
Tip: use your browser’s Print → Save as PDF to keep a copy.